No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize