Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Randomize
