I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
