I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
