ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
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