you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
