I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
