I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
