just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
