My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My feet surprised me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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