FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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