just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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