Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
