I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
