Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
