Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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