im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
