And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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