Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just puked most of my soul out..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
