Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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