I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
