And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
