I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
