If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
