Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
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i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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