After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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