I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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