nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize