well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
