East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
