Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
