A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nicole vs. Life
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I know her cup size but not her name....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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