Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
only if we run a train.
done.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
