dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
