my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
His hands were made for my vagina.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
