none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
