I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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