Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
