Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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