is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
