Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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