he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
