At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
