I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I didn't notice because vodka
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
