Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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