If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
