come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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