what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
