Cold hands, warm shart.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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