im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
