What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
