My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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