Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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