remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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