My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
