Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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